I hope I understood your question completely. In the end, you want to load a table based on some data out of the XML, right? In that case I would give SSIS in combination with XSLT a try, using the method as I explained here: [Loading Complex XML Using SSIS][1]
Have to admit though that I haven't tested this method with large files, but I think 80MB should be feasible. If you happen to give this a test, keep us in the loop. Would be interesting to know!
[1]: http://blog.hoegaerden.be/2011/04/20/loading-complex-xml-using-ssis/
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